how2notdieblog

Maybe my stories will sound a little too familiar; trigger warning- I’m sharing some symptoms and details that are not the prettiest.

Exhibit A: The “It’s Just Anxiety… Follow Up With Psych” conversation about my very real Back Pain that was, in fact… Actually… Kidney Failure.

What? Yeah. Same. I’m still trying to process this and it’s been over two years since this happened.

So picture this: I go to my PCM/doctor with severe back pain. Im told my primary is overbooked so I’ll be seen by another physician on the team- I’m worried. I have darker urine than usual. I’m exceedingly hot. Super thirsty. Constipated. Something feels wrong. But he has the same credentials as my primary so I agree to the change.

His response?

“You’re probably just anxious. Try doing less in life. Have you considered focusing on losing weight? The Mediterranean diet or a vegan diet would do you well.”

Ohhh, thank you, Dr. Hassan. Weight loss and yoga was definitely going to cure the raging septic infection inside my kidneys. 🙃

The very next day, I Uber myself to the ER (because of course- who’s going to pay an ambulance these days when an uber is quicker and more reliable- shameful really). Diagnosis? Septic pyelonephritis. Did they get to this immediately? No. It took ages. I threw up 3x in the lobby waiting to be seen. I was left forgotten in a wheelchair in radiology because the third party transport company that was supposed to wheel me back to my ER bed got distracted. Meanwhile- my kidneys were shutting down. The ER nurse flat-out told me: if I hadn’t come in when I did, I would’ve died.

I was kept overnight “just for observation,” then I woke up in a whole new room, building, floor- being told I was admitted and needed to stay until they could get the sepsis under control. My scans showed that my right ureter was pinched and causing the fluid to back up in my kidney and I needed to focus on staying regular. Because when we’re back up or constipated; things tend to get squished. I became more and more anxious every day.

I was freaking out about my dog being left at home, because my roommate (bless them, but not equipped) didn’t understand she needed to be walked regularly. My body was falling apart while my heart was breaking over her.

I was there for a total of five days. The nurses never told the doctor I needed my anxiety medication. I was a mess. So stressed. Six rounds of IV antibiotics, three bottles of pills, and nearly 18 months of recovery later, I was finally back on my feet.

But sure. “Just anxiety.” Screw you, Dr. Hassan. (No this name hasn’t been changed to protect the person’s identity. You don’t get to be spared when my life and safety were not considered).

Exhibit B: Abnormal Bleeding After Every Meal; but don’t stress you silly girl… it’s “Just Your Period”

Fast forward to another time when I was literally scheduled for a colonoscopy and upper endoscopy because of abnormal GI bleeding. Scary, right? Was told to take it seriously and schedule the first available appointment. They get me on the books and then the scheduler called back and shared because the referring physician was concerned they were going to schedule me sooner because there was a cancellation.

I wake up; groggy. I form the words, Dr. Illagan, what’s wrong with me, did you find what’s wrong? Is it cancer?

He looks me in the eye and says:

“There’s nothing wrong. You probably just confused it with your period. Anxiety can really trick our minds.”

He double taps my foot and tells the nurse to prep me for discharge. They never got my mom from the waiting room to give her a rundown of what they uncovered (or didn’t) in the procedure- like I asked for them to. They handed a bunch of papers in a folder to her and told her to get the car.

ARE. YOU. KIDDING. ME.

Almost a year later, I finally get answers: a rare genetic condition that causes gastroanaphylactic reactions to certain foods and chemicals. Turns out — shocker — I know the difference between period blood and GI bleeding.

So yeah. Screw you, Dr. Illagan. You were too lazy to run further tests. That “mistake” could’ve killed me. I legitimately could’ve bled out in my sleep. On multiple occasions. I became iron deficient. I was weak. I lost 18 pounds. But it was “just my period”.

Why I’m Telling You This

Girl, this is too much.

No, it’s not enough. Because it’s not just me. This happens to so many people. And disproportionately this occurs in more female patient – male doctor scenarios than in any other interactions with the medical community. Since when does being a woman with health concerns make her a hypochondriac or anxious?

I guess since forever. History can back me up. While I’d love to dive into the long history of systemic oppression of women in the medical field- that’s a soapbox and educational moment for another day.

Too many of us are gaslit by medical professionals. We’re told to lose weight to fix our problems. To calm down. To stop being dramatic. To just breathe. To “get more sleep.” Try yoga. Try the Mediterranean Diet. Exercise more.

Meanwhile, our bodies are waving giant red flags that many in white coats don’t want to deal with because it’s a little more tricky to uncover the truth behind the symptoms.

And here’s the truth: it’s not just an emotional battle we face when this happens. When doctors dismiss us, we don’t just feel unheard- we pay the price in pain, trauma, hospital bills, lost years of our lives, and more.

Now It’s Your Turn

I want to hear your wildest “WTF doctor” story.

💬 Have you ever been dismissed, only for it to turn out to be something serious?

💬 Did a doctor ever say something that nearly cost you your life?

💬 Do you still feel angry just thinking about it? (Because same.)

Drop your story in the comments, or DM me if you want it shared anonymously.

Because if we don’t talk about this, it stays hidden. And if it stays hidden, those in the medical community (that shouldn’t be) – keep getting away with it.

This is how2notdie – and sometimes surviving starts with speaking up.

Xx

Lauren