how2notdieblog

(and Hoping They See Me, Not Just My Disabilities: Part 2)

Continuing from where I left off…

After realizing my mobility device was not delivered to the jet bridge at London Heathrow (or anyone else’s on my flight), I was already operating in.. well, more of a survival mode than anything else. That set the tone for everything that followed: I was physically exhausted, mentally drained, and trying to problem-solve in real time while my body was already well past its limit after 17 and a half hours of travel.

Once I made it through the airport, I tried to locate the correct mode of transportation using the Citymapper app. At that point, I was still trying to do things “the right way” – to follow the systems, take the intended routes, and avoid unnecessary complications.

But almost immediately, I ran into another barrier (but I promise, there are some positives I’ll eventually get to!!).

I attempted to take two different transit routes, but both lines were down.

The only options that were still running required either a 125-minute wait or a 200-minute wait. 👀

After nearly 18 hours of travel, the idea of sitting in a station for two more hours- or more– just to complete what should have been a relatively straightforward final leg of the journey felt impossible.

Not just inconvenient. But painfully impossible.

My body and mind weren’t in a place where “waiting it out” was an option anymore.

Especially not for a journey that would still take over an hour once I finally got moving.

As I moved through the station area, I noticed plenty of signage indicating accessibility routes and accommodations. One sign in particular stood out- clear instructions saying “Don’t struggle with the stairs, take the lift,” with a directional arrow pointing toward an elevator.

Except the elevator was … broken.

There was a cone placed in front of it, along with caution tape, quietly confirming:

Accessibility is often advertised more than it is actually available.

And while I physically could have attempted the stairs on my own, who using a mobility device could have done it with the mobility device + luggage?

I made the decision to take an Uber. For my mental health at this point (which felt deeply connected to my physical health at this point).

It wasn’t the original plan, but I knew I could communicate directly with the driver, explain my needs, and ensure there was space for both my rollator/walker and my suitcases.

That level of predictability mattered more in that moment.

I didn’t have the capacity left for uncertainty.

About an hour later, we finally arrived at the hotel.

The reception and front desk staff were genuinely kind from the moment I walked in. There was no hesitation, no confusion- just immediate willingness to help. Pulled up my room, gathered my information. Confirmed my mobility needs.

And after a long travel-

That mattered more than I expected.

They offered me the option to check-in early for a £45 fee.

Under normal circumstances, I probably would have paused at that. Questioned it. Maybe tried to wait it out until official check-in time. But I hadn’t slept at all on my transatlantic flight (thanks to a very kind yet manspreading seat mate). 😐

But I was beyond that point.

I was exhausted in a way that makes decision-making feel heavy and distant, so I accepted it.

They also let me know that my company had already contacted them in advance requesting a fragrance-free room. As someone with fume sensitivity (thank youuuu, mast cells) that immediately stood out to me- not just as a comfort, but as a form of care that I don’t always experience consistently in travel settings.

The receptionist explained that because of that request, my room had been prepared in advance and set aside for several days. They also shared that the fragrance system used throughout the hotel HVAC would not be pumped into my specific room.

I appreciated that more than I could really put into words in the moment.

Later, a coworker pointed out that the framing of the early check-in fee- suggesting it was tied to housekeeping needing to “rush” rooms- felt a bit odd, especially given that they had shared my room had already been vacant and prepared several days ahead.

And I understand that perspective… if I think about it too long I see it more and more.

But in that moment, I chose not to sit with the logistics too deeply. I reframed it (for myself) in a way that allowed me to move forward:

I wasn’t paying for early check-in.

I was paying for a room my body could exist in safely, and because the staff took additional care and consideration in preparing my room.

If £45 meant I wouldn’t wake up with swollen eyes, a flare, or a respiratory reaction for the next week, then it was a cost I was willing to accept.

When I finally got to my room, I nearly collapsed into the bed. Same with Mom. We were EXHAUSTED. We even discussed possibly not even going to the room, because we knew if we laid down we’d struggle getting back up.

I’m so grateful my mom was able to join me on this trip. We both ultimately agreed that a short nap- somewhere between 60 and 90 minutes- was was very much so necessary.

Our bodies didn’t really ask permission.

I set a bunch of alarms so we could plan our next adventure and not miss it.

After waking up, we eventually made our way to the super close Starbucks nearby.

We noticed something interesting: while the “standard” of Starbucks recipes was the same- pumps, shots, ratios- the actual ingredients were different.

As a former Starbucks barista, I asked ALL of the very deep, very unnecessary questions.

One of the biggest differences is that they use 20 ounce cups for their iced ventis. Whereas in the US, our iced ventis are actually 24 ounces (to account for ice). And the caramel and brown sugar syrups tasted noticeably different than what I’m used to in the U.S.- not bad, juuuuuust different.

They did have a sugar-free, dairy-free hazelnut syrup though, which I was genuinely excited about since that’s not something we have back home.

From there, we made our way into Central London. And of course found ANOTHER starbucks. (Because this is comfort. This is home. 😭) 🫶

We found vegan raspberry coconut brownie bites that were genuinely to die for. Not only were they delicious, but they were also safe for me- which meant I immediately bought an extra to keep as a snack for later in the week!

Because finding something that is both safe and enjoyable? That’s not a small win. That’s a rare one…. And one to be celebrated!!

They also had reusable cups with cherry blossom designs that were so pretty- one of those small details that just makes you pause and enjoy where you are for a second.

We made our way to the London Eye Waterloo Pier and boarded our previously booked boat tour along the River Thames.

Even in the rain, it was absolutely beautiful. As it got darker it was so pretty.. the lights, the heavy clouds/.. the street lamps. Beautiful!

There’s something about the architecture- the stone buildings, the history layered into every structure- that makes the entire city feel timeless.

We saw the London Eye, Big Ben / Elizabeth Tower, Buckingham Palace, the SIS building (James Bond), the OXO building, and even a hotel that costs around £18,000 per night with a three-night minimum stay… WOW.

We saw the London Bridge– which is much smaller than people expect- and the Tower Bridge, which is what most people think London Bridge is! And boy was it STUNNING.

We learned so much about the history and local lore surrounding all of the bridges, which made the experience feel so much more immersive. Our tour guide had a great sense of humor. Unfortunately, to my mom’s dismay he liked to share many faux facts as … actual facts. And confused us a bit by later saying everything he told us was false. And did this a few times… While done in good fun, now we have to google everything we thought we learned to make sure we didn’t remember the lies and did remember the truths!

Most of our Uber drivers we had throughout the day were wonderful. We did have one that dropped my walker onto the ground (fell out of the back of his trunk) and because he was quickly trying to get to his phone to accept his next ride, he just left it on the street. Which is fine. I’m physically capable. Just a strange experience.

A little before and a little after the cruise, we did some souvenir shopping and window browsing.

One thing we both noticed right away:

The souvenir prices around the London Eye and local shops were nowhere near what you’d expect coming from Florida / a Disney background.

It was honestly… refreshing.

My mom also had her first experience trying AUTHENTIC fish and chips – and she enjoyed it!

When it comes to hospitality, we both noticed that it feels different in London than what we’re used to in Florida.

And this is where my perspective might be a little… skewed.

Having spent the last decade working in international Disney experiences and with the greater Orlando tourism industry, I’ve been immersed in what is often considered elite, top-tier hospitality.

That level of service becomes… your baseline!

And anything that doesn’t meet it?

You feel it immediately!

At the same time, I’ve also worked in the service industry myself before transitioning into corporate roles. I understand deeply how demanding, exhausting, and often thankless that work can be.

Because of that, I tend to approach every interaction with the mindset that:

The service worker is always right.

Not the customer.

Because I know what they’re navigating behind the scenes. I know how rigorous the work is. I know how often they go unrecognized.

So I lead with empathy. Always.

And for the most part, we encountered kindness.

But there were a handful of moments where it was very clear that certain individuals simply did not care about their job, the guest… the experience. It didn’t appear to be out of exhaustion, but what appeared to be a culturally accepted poor treatment of guests as no one seemed shocked by the poor service.

Maybe that’s the norm?

Idk.

When that kind of disengagement and disrespect shows up at the front line, it makes you wonder what the environment behind the scenes looks like.

What kind of management creates that kind of detachment? Allows for that kind of disrespect? Makes ya think.

We eventually made our way back to the hotel. I met the bar staff and ordered a plain grilled chicken breast for dinner- something simple and safe.

After that, we took much-needed showers and went straight to bed early.

The kind of early that doesn’t have an ounce of FOMO just relief.

I needed to be up early for work the next morning.

And that’s where this part of the story comes to an end- for now, at least.

In my next post. I’ll talk about meeting my team in person for the first time– and the crippling anxiety of being seen physically (mobility device and all) before being understood professionally…

The fear that my walker, my dietary needs, and my medical reality might speak louder than my work ethic or merit have gotten the chance to….

Being seen is one thing.

Being understood is another.

And I wasn’t sure which one would happen first. Would my dynamic mobility and dietary needs to be judged?

Who wouldn’t have bias seeing a newly hired disabled person? Coming from corporate America, I’ve seen it all I know what’s whispered, mumbled, and assumed.

I even taught the class on what NOT to say to the newly hired disabled person.

I just really didn’t know if this workplace was going to be the safe place it claimed to be. And I truly didn’t know what I was walking into.